I’m scared of falling in love.
I lose myself.
I’m so malleable in love
That I become completely distorted from my reality.
I forget who I am
And who I was before him.
I don’t want to fall in love,
But I love you so completely.

We have all hurt someone tremendously,

Whether by intent or accident. 

We have all loved someone tremendously, 

Whether by intent or accident. 

It is an intrinsic human trait, 

And a deep responsibility, 

I think, 

To be an organ and a blade. 

But, learning to forgive ourselves and others 

Because we have not chosen wisely 

Is what makes us most human. 

We make horrible mistakes. 

It’s how we learn. 

We breathe love. 

It’s how we learn. 

And it is inevitable.

A Letter To The Man Who Loves Me

I.
You can tell me
You love me
In the sunrise
And by midday
I will think
I’m completely
Alone.
Your love is enough
But I feel like
I’m not enough for your love.

II.
I will wake you up
At 2 am
When I’m stone-cold-sober
To say sorry
For everything.
You won’t know what I’m talking about.
Neither will I.
Say it’s okay.

III.
Some days
I will tell you
I need you to hold me.
Tell me
I am strong on my own
But you’ll be there
Just the same.

IV.
I am and will be
Jealous of
Everyone and everything
That goes on
When you’re not with me.
Remind me
That you care but
Never let me make you
Feel guilty for not letting
Your world revolve
Around me.

V.
When I call you crying
One too many times
I don’t need advice,
Just to know
That my tears are not
Falling unheard.

VI.
I will accuse you
Of being sick of me,
Of being tired of me
A lot.
And you will spend
These conversations
Feeling like a broken record.
Don’t get bored of me.
I’m just scared
That you’ll see me
The way I see myself.

VII.
I will never be angry
But I’ll get passive-aggressive.
If I tell you
It doesn’t matter
Tell me
It matters
To you.

VIII.
I’m not as broken
As I often like to think I am.
Don’t try to fix me.
I still need to learn.

IX.
I’m afraid of being rejected
But don’t stay
If you don’t want to.
I’d rather be alone
Than with someone
There out of pity.

X.
Be patient
And let me
Grow into your arms.

Day to Day

I am not a graceful person.
I am not a Sunday morning,
Or a Friday sunset.
I am 2 am on a Tuesday,
I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks,
I am a broken window during February.
My bones crack on a nightly basis.
I fall from elegance with a dull thud,
And I apologize for my awkward sadness.
I often believe I don't belong around people,
That I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen.
The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm.
You don't see the lightning,
But you hear the echoes.

Supernova

And men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.” - C.S. Lewis
--
People are like stars
Something happens to burst us open
And we think we are dying
But we’re actually turning into a supernova.
When I burst open,
My last breath is going to rush out of me
Like a stellar explosion that
Briefly outshines our entire galaxy.
Einstein told us,
Energy cannot be created
Or destroyed.
It can only be changed
From one form to another. 
So don't you tell me
There is no life after death
When every atom in our bodies
Was created in a star.
I have galaxies in my mind,
So do not tell me I cannot shine.
And when you stand transfixed
Under the expanse of stars in the sky,
Realizing that each star
Is actually a raging sun,
Do not feel insignificant.
Instead, remember you are a star
In someone's sky.
Remember you shine 
Brighter than the sun.
Remember you are stellar.
You are galactic.
You have dust and stars
In your bones.

There are as many atoms
In a single molecule of your DNA
As there are stars in a galaxy.
So remember:
You are a universe.
You are my world.

JB

Live Wire

She is not one to tread quietly,
Leaving small footprints as she goes.
She will not be a silent force in your life.
She will come crashing in,
Like a violent ocean wave.
And you will let her.
Because she is an electric beauty,
With the blood of the stars
Running through her veins.
She is a live wire,
So know in the end
That she will burn you.
And you will let her.
Because she is the first person
To make you feel alive since
You don't remember when.
And she sounds elegant
Even when she says the word "Fuck".
 You will love her to the point of madness,
And she will let you.

How This Ends

My green-eyed lover,
With your touch
As soft and slow
As your voice.
I feel you smile
Beneath my lips.
Perhaps in another life,
We were more
Than whatever it is
We are now.
Perhaps you once
Fixed my broken wing,
And showed me how to love again.
But not now my darling,
Not now.
You are not my cure,
You are my morphine.
A drug to ebb the pain
In the middle of the night.
The fire in my chest,
Burns a little less hotter
When my fingers
Are roaming your body
Like new territory.
And then,
I press my feet to your cold floor.
I dress in the dark.
And that my dear,
Is how this ends.